You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.
Today is my birthday and this post is self-indulgently pig free… Just some stuff I’ve learned in my (59) years on this earth:
- It doesn’t matter if the glass is half full or half empty, I’m still gonna’ drink what’s in it through a crazy straw.
- When I’m down, I think of life as a glass of beer. No, wait. Actually, I just think of a glass of beer… That always makes me feel better better.
- Forgetfulness is only a charming characteristic when it results in nudity.
- I bought a really comfortable folding chair and a six-pack cooler with a shoulder strap ’cause every day the world descends further into chaos, and it is only going to keep getting harder to find a good spot to watch from.
- The sooner you fall behind, the more time you’ll have to catch up.
- Forget what the cookbooks say, plain yogurt tastes nothing like sour cream.
- I am repeatedly and unavoidably being detained by the world, so expect me when you see me.
A special “THANK YOU” to my wife, Sharon, my daughter, my son, both their terrific families and all my friends for making this life far better than I probably deserve.