Christopher Smart

The Pig
a fable

  • In ev'ry age, and each profession,
  • Men err the most by prepossession;
  • But when the thing is clearly shown,
  • And fairly stated, fully known,
  • We soon applaud what we deride,
  • And penitence succeeds to pride.--
  • A certain Baron on a day
  • Having a mind to show away,
  • Invited all the wits and wags,
  • Foot, Massey, Shuter, Yates, and Skeggs,
  • And built a large commodious stage,
  • For the Choice Spirits of the age;
  • But above all, among the rest,
  • There came a Genius who profess'd
  • To have a curious trick in store,
  • Which never was perform'd before.
  • Thro' all the town this soon got air,
  • And the whole house was like a fair;
  • But soon his entry as he made,
  • Without a prompter, or parade,
  • 'twas all expectance, all suspense,
  • And silence gagg'd the audience.
  • He hid his head behind his wig,
  • With with such truth took off a Pig,
  • All swore 'twas serious, and no joke,
  • For doubtless underneath his cloak,
  • He had conceal'd some grunting elf,
  • Or was a real hog himself.
  • A search was made, no pig was found--
  • With thund'ring claps the seats resound,
  • And pit and box and galleries roar,
  • With--"O rare! bravo!" and "Encore!"
  • Old Roger Grouse, a country clown,
  • Who yet knew something of the town,
  • Beheld the mimic and his whim,
  • And on the morrow challeng'd him.
  • Declaring to each beau and bunter
  • That he'd out-grunt th'egregious grunter.
  • The morrow came--the crowd was greater--
  • But prejudice and rank ill-nature
  • Usurp'd the minds of men and wenches,
  • Who came to hiss, and break the benches.
  • The mimic took his usual station,
  • And squeak'd with general approbation.
  • "Again, encore! encore!" they cry--
  • 'twas quite the thing--'twas very high;
  • Old Grouse conceal'd, amidst the racket,
  • A real Pig berneath his jacket--
  • Then forth he came--and with his nail
  • He pinch'd the urchin by the tail.
  • The tortur'd Pig from out his throat,
  • Produc'd the genuine nat'ral note.
  • All bellow'd out--"'twas very sad!
  • Sure never stuff was half so bad!
  • That like a Pig!"--each cry'd in scoff,
  • "Pshaw! Nonsense! Blockhead! Off! Off! Off!"
  • The mimic was extoll'd, and Grouse
  • Was hiss'd and catcall'd from the house.--
  • "Soft ye, a word before I go,"
  • Quoth honest Hodge--and stooping low
  • Produc'd the Pig, and thus aloud
  • Bespoke the stupid, partial crowd:
  • "Behold, and learn from this poor creature,
  • How much you Critics know of Nature."