Porcine Oracle
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The Porcine Oracle delivers a new and thought-provoking prognostication every day. These are delivered to the Porkopolis home page via java scripts.
Listed below are some of the Oracle's recent prognostications — a small consolation for you not being able to view the daily presentations.
Porcine Oracle's Top 10 for Fall/Winter 2008:
- Happiness is an imaginary condition, formerly often attributed by the living to the dead, now usually attributed to a pig wallowing in manure.
- The fattening pig will be eaten many times in anticipation before it at length falls victim to the butcher's knife.
- No pig, on noticing that a rose smells better than a cabbage, would conclude that it would also make better soup.
- The black pig in the road at twilight is not an omen. Destiny does not send us heralds. She is too wise or too cruel for that.
- The gourmet tastes the secret dreams of pigs lightly swathed in apricot demi-glaze.
- If you pull one pig by the tail all the rest will also squeak.
- Rituals will always mean throwing away something — the ill-considered waste of good wine or swine upon the altar of some god.
- The fate of pigs is that both the farmer and the butcher think they will soon die.
- Faith alone is no good keeper of swine.
- Some will try to cure ham. This is hopeless. The pig is dead. If you want the ham to get well, leave it attached to the pig.
No pig, on noticing that a rose smells better than a cabbage, would conclude that it would also make better 