McNie, Frank

Scotland/Canada, (b. 1948)

Perciville Pig

  1. Perciville pig lived on a farm.
  2. in the coziest corner of the coziest barn.
  3. in all his life there was no great threat’
  4. for he was Susie’s favorite pet. 
  5.  
  6. For a pig Percy’s thoughts were really quite alien,
  7. his one great ambition was to see the show Pigmalion.
  8. in his mind he imagined a great cast all of them pigs,
  9. singing pig songs and dancing pig jigs.
  10.  
  11. One day while out walking
  12. Percy chanced to hear someone talking
  13. about Pigmalion with a wonderful cast
  14. and how it was playing in London’s Old Vic at Last.
  15. like a shot Percy had made up his mind,
  16. he’d get Susie to take him to London, the Old Vic to find.
  17.  
  18. He begged and he pleaded how he wanted to go,
  19. but Susie knew they wouldn’t let a pig into the show.
  20. her dilemma was hard ,but she said yes I’ll try,
  21. for she couldn’t bare to watch Percy cry.
  22. She would have to trick him but what was the harm?
  23. she’d need the help of the Vicar and the use of his farm.
  24.  
  25. The vicar was exited when he heard Susie’s plan,
  26. he immediately agreed to do “all that I can”
  27. For days Susie was busy to-ing and fro-ing,
  28. Percy had no idea what she was doing where going,
  29. then on Saturday Susie announced a surprise,
  30. she gave Percy a scarf to cover his eyes.
  31. The tricky part of this whole operation
  32. was to make Percy think he had traveled for a duration
  33.  
  34. Susie drove him up a down the country lane,
  35. then along the main road where the big trucks came.
  36. finally Percy lost his patients, but no need for alarm,
  37. he pulled the scarf off, outside the Old Vicarage farm,
  38. the farm sign had been covered right after the C.
  39. this must be the Old Vic. what else could it be.
  40. Percy exploded with excitement for at last he could know
  41. Susie was taking him to the Pigmalion show.
  42.  
  43. The Old Vicarage was a sight to behold
  44. decked out in colours of crimson and gold’
  45. above the barn door there was a huge written display
  46. Tonight we are showing The Pigmalion Play.
  47. A gentleman who looked like the Vicar ushered them in 
  48. he told them the show was about to begin
  49. suddenly the stage was ablaze with bright shining light,
  50. the music was lively with intent to excite
  51.  
  52. The leading man was Francis a big handsome male,
  53. and of coarse there was Pigmalion, she had a cute curly tail,
  54. her uncle was Thomas a big hairy bore
  55. there was MO and Sar. and Brenin and more.
  56. They sang and they danced, they each took a turn,
  57. they even let Percy join in the fun.
  58. They told the story of Pigmalion who had no one to care 
  59. she rose to the top and took first prize at fair.
  60. A wonderful cast all of them pigs
  61. singing pig songs and dancing pig jigs.
  62.  
  63. Late in the night the show finally ended,
  64. Percy thanked all, he announced it was splendid,
  65. they jumped in the car and soon he was dreaming,
  66. he never found out about Susie’s scheming.
  67. In the morning he awoke in his own little farm,
  68. in the coziest corner of the coziest barn,
  69. he was the only pig in Yorkshire who was able to say,
  70. he had been to London and watched The Pigmalion Play
  71.  
  72. He lived happily ever after.

© Frank McNie, 2004. Electric Scotland, Poetry and Stories section.

About the Poet:

Frank McNie (b. 1948) is a Scottish/Canadian poet and supports himself in the hospitality services. He was born in Falkirk, Scotland. Frank has been writing poetry off and on since age sixteen after he was told by the Falkirk Employment Center, that the battery of psychological tests he had just taken suggested that he was best suited to be a poet, (there first ever).

McNie eventually moved to Toronto where he and his wife, June, have owned several Scottish restaurants: Tartan Annie’s, Hamish’s Kitchen and McNie’s Lovely Grub. The McNie’ also own Natara’s House, a guest house in Niagara-on-the-Lake and the High Street Fish And Chips
in Toronto.

Frank has read poetry on Toronto radio and had a few pieces published. He anxiously awaits his first royalty payment, but isn’t quite ready to give up his day job yet. [DES-06/14]

Additional information:

  • Electric Scotland is run by Alastair McIntyre GOTJ, FSA Scot, who manages a group of web sites, including Electric Canadian, dedicated to the history of Scotland and the Scots. It also has considerable information on the Scots Diaspora all over the world.

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