Ross, Matt

Canada, (fl. 1999)

SPAM Song

  1. Verse 1:
  2. Early in the mornin’
  3. Once the factory’s awake
  4. The workers all suit up
  5. And the oven’s set to bake
  6. The conveyors all start movin’
  7. And the grinders start to grind
  8. And as the workers monitor
  9. The workers all soon find
  10.  
  11. CHORUS
  12. Joy to the man that grinds the pig!
  13. And joy to the one that cans it!
  14. Joy to the oven that cooks the beast!
  15. And sends us our little spamlets!
  16.  
  17. Verse 2:
  18. All the guys at Hormel foods
  19. Grind gaily and with glee
  20. From dawn to dusk they never stop
  21. To find the time to pee.
  22. They pack and mash the chunky bits
  23. Through rain and sleet and snow
  24. For angry bosses and low wages but
  25. When they work they know
  26.  
  27. CHORUS
  28.  
  29. Verse 3:
  30. The times may change
  31. And the tastes might too.
  32. The people don’t want
  33. No porky goo.
  34. But the Spamjacks can
  35. With one thing on the mind
  36. They hope and pray
  37. That people might find
  38.  
  39. CHORUS (and repeat)

© Matt Ross, (with help from Reg Franklin). A submission to WEIR – Writers In Electronic Residence program at York University in Toronto, ON (May 1999).

About the Poet:

Matt Ross (fl. 1999) Canadian poet and as of 1999 was a secondary school student at G. P. Vanier Secondary School in Courtenay, British Columbia. No information is available on Reg Franklin.

The Writers in Electronic Residence (WIER) was a project in which students submitted writing samples electronically for comment by Canadian authors. It focused on Canada’s literary culture through creative literary expression and critical discussion undertaken in a writing —and written— community as well as an arts initiative that created new forms of work for Canada’s writers, and audiences for their books. Funding cutbacks in the government sector in 2013 had the effect of dropping WiER below an operational level and WiER’s Trustees suspended operations, effective December 31, 2013. [DES-06/14]

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A random image of a pig, hog, boar or swine from the collection at Porkopolis.