Artificial bacon is better than nothing,
Nothing is better than real bacon.
So, artificial bacon is… better than real bacon?
And if bacon is the context in which to express my love, then my love is like a continuous and endless half-twist strip of mobius bacon. My past relationships have influenced this present one, just like artificial bacon reminds me that nothing is better than real bacon.
I would tell you more about how much you mean to me, but perhaps it is more effective to simply tell you that we wolves contend bacon is the most sensible way for pigs to behave…
Always and truly,