Steen, Jon R.

United States, (b.1955)

An Ode to a Quest for the Black Pig Dike

  1. In the legends of Ireland, one with great might
  2. Is a fierce pig with a powerful bite.
  4. Black was his color, as black as his heart
  5. He burrowed and burrowed right from the start.
  7. For 800 kilometers he moved the earth
  8. Creating a dyke of great worth.
  10. The dyke protected lands and was used by man
  11. This inspired a modern fellow named Dan.
  13. He was drawn to Ireland — he’d fly and drive
  14. To find this dyke he would strive and strive.
  16. No directions in his tour guide were to be found
  17. So he sought assistance from all locals around.
  19. Shocked was Dan that few knew of this pig’s dig
  20. When he finally got some assistance Dan danced a jig.
  22. He was sent to the old church to see Father Kelly
  23. But he was ill; something in his belly.
  25. Father Brian tried to help in his place
  26. But too much Guinness gave him a red face.
  28. He remembered the Pig or something like that
  29. But he couldn’t remember what he was talking about.
  31. Dan left Father Brian his hat in hand
  32. He almost gave up his quest in this land.
  34. Till Mel the bartender in Dowra town
  35. Knew the dyke was near and could be found.
  37. Mel sent Dan to a storekeeper’s stand
  38. Where Dan learned the dyke crossed his land.
  40. Quickly Dan ran to this magical spot
  41. His wife Sharon didn’t think it so hot.
  43. Dan danced and pranced in joy of his find
  44. The local school girls thought he’d lost his mind.
  46. Dan did not care that he looked a fright
  47. This discovery would end up on his pig web site.

© Jon R. Steen
INSANITY. Issue #81, April 2000, a publication of CLUB MEL — Vacationists, Genial Consorts and Merrymakers.

Editor’s Note:

This is the true story of how I found a section of the Black Pig Dyke near Dowra in County Cavan, Ireland in 1996. Along with Jon and myself, were Peg, Jon’s wife, who did not get to see a zoo (sorry, Peg); Cliff who found us all the BEST sights and is a damn fine walking guide through Dublin in the dark of night. Also with me were my wife, Sharon, and my very good friend Mark who together enabled the Guinness Brewery to set an all-time monthly sales record for March of 1996. Thanks, folks! And thanks as well to Dan Dooley for the use of his van…

About the Poet

Jon R. Steen (b. 1955), lawyer, adventurer, poet and traveling companion of the Porkopolis Editor on many porcine expeditions. [DES-6/03]

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